A few things I’ve learned in the past 12 years of dating & 10 years of being ‘out’.
1: If you feel as though you’re giving more than the other person, you won’t be happy & you’ll end up making yourself a martyr. Do both of you a solid & speak up. Use words & phrases to bring the other person into the conversation & makes them a part of the solution. ‘I feel’ and ‘It seems’. Great examples.
2: If their words are shit, drop it. Immediately. If the actions don’t match the words, there’s a bigger issue there.
3: DO NOT SNOOP. There’s no reason to snoop. Ever. Nothing good ever comes from snooping. Either you were right & everything goes to shit or you were wrong & you’ve lost the trust of your SO.
4: It’s OK to be adventurous in the bedroom. Whips, chains, handcuffs? Vanilla, sensual, romantic? Mix of the million different things that bring pleasure to the human body? Be open minded.
5: Don’t put limits on your partner. They are their own person, too. Allow them to come to you with their concerns, fears, joys. Creates an atmosphere of trust & openness.
6: When an argument arises, and it will, take a beat. Come back to a calm space. Body contact during the discussion, open body language. Personally, I like discussions in bed while facing each other under the covers.
7: Speaking of arguments, these are healthy. It reminds each of you that you both have your own thought processes & ways of processing information presented. Many times they will bring you closer together. And the make-up sex? See #4. Damn!
Yes. I’m single. Yes. I’ve had 1 major relationship that disintegrated. I don’t know if half of what I say is true. In my mind it works. But I haven’t been able to not make myself a martyr. I haven’t been able to be attracted to someone who wants to build an empire with me by his side. There’s a chance I may end up going it alone. I have to be okay with this. I don’t need a man to be happy. I also don’t need a Mercedes-Benz GL550 to be happy. But it would be a lot more fun if I had one.
This next link is great. I love these: